Finding Shade

One of my favorite albums, from one of my favorite bands.

For some reason, I was thinking about this post, and what I wanted to call it, since I already knew what I wanted to write about and the words "finding shade" just wouldn't get out of my head. Then I realized how it made perfect sense...

Since early this year (late last year) I spend a lot of time struggling to keep my business up. If it wasn't one thing is was another with my pregnancy. It pretty much started in December when I spent a week in the hospital for DVT, then spent the next few months sick as a dog with "morning" sickness. Which, eventually started to fade and was replaced by kidney stones, and preeclampisa...then made it's return towards the end. So, needless to say it was a rough 8 months or so. Unfortunately, I let it affect my business. My return times grew longer, I had to cancel and rearrange more sessions than I would have liked (I would have liked to have to move zero - so I guess that last statement doesn't really make sense.), making trips to the post office got harder and harder the further along I got, and I'm pretty sure that I lost a client or two along the way - which totally breaks my heart. {{SIDENOTE: The post office is still a struggle, especially with a infant and a toddler, its so hard to have to get them in and out of the car, then stand in line to ship prints and disks. And unless you're a parent...I don't think you get the full idea of the pain in the ass that it is to get 2 kids out of a car to go inside somewhere for 3 minutes...}}

Once Rhyder arrived I had several people tell me that my work was going to have to suffer, that I wouldn't have time, I would be too tired to work, I wouldn't have anyone to watch them when I had sessions, etc. Which are all valid points, but I didn't want to hear or believe them. All I kept thinking was that I will have plenty of time to work because he will just sleep at first...and I have always operated just fine on very little sleep. Then about halfway through my "maternity leave" I got this strong NEED to be back behind my camera, and to spend night after night editing away. True, I could have just spent the time taking pictures of my kids, but its soooo not the same. For one, they don't sit still for you the way they do others, and for two, I for some reason lose all my creativity when trying to take shots of my son (which that's what my photographer is for, right?!)

Then the day finally came...my first session back. Which actually, I had 3 sessions the same weekend, so I hit the ground running! I had so much fun, and it felt so good and so right to be back to doing what I love. Not that I don't love being a mommy...but every mommy needs a break. I came back to "work" with a different outlook on it, and have SO many ideas for my clients and business in the next few months, and going into next year.

Through my entire pregnancy there was always something going on...draining my energy, wearing me down inside and out...taking away my sunshine. Then I found some shade. My chance to take the break that I needed out of the heat from the sun (literally and figuratively). And once that break was over, I was ready for the sun again! To bring me that happiness and rush that comes from leaving a session with such a great feeling, and then seeing how happy you just made that client when they get a peek of their pics. This is why I do what I do. When there is sun out, there is always shade somewhere...and that's a good spot. :)